Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
