Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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