Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
