What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
