I can text with my tongue
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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