I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
