You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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