And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
