sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
