If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
