Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
