i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
