Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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