just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
