its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
