Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
