Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
