girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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