wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
