You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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