God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
