garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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