Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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