with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
