I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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