Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
