from now on my penis is your penis
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i think im in europe. pls send help
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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