The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
