The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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