I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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