omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
