Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
