I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
