she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
