He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
