forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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