glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
