wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
