I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
