So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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