I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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