32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
