Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
