I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
