Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
