i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
