My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
