ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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