In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
