Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
